Lately, I’ve been feeling a little bit overwhelmed. Nothing has caused this feeling, other than my typical Type A personality. (Meaning I feel like I need to get everything done right away) I have been doing pretty good at stepping away from being so rigid, and trying to live a stress-free life, but it doesn’t always work.
There are many things coming up that without a doubt, are stressing me out. One of them was a summer job. I went back to the daycare I have worked at for the past few years, but it was under a new director, and wasn’t sure I would have a job, again. Clearly I started freaking out about what I would do, and who would hire me when I needed so much time off (one week vacation at the beginning of July, few days before my wedding, honeymoon, and a day or two to catch up when coming home and moving into my new house). That’s a whole heck of a lot of time that I needed off in the whole 8 weeks or so I had off for the summer. Then, I switched thoughts completely and began thinking about what a summer off would mean, especially this summer.
- I could spend more time with my mom before moving out.
- I could have more free time to do things and live my life, while not being kept to a rigid schedule
- I would be able to get my house ready before either of us move in (such a huge process!)
- I would be able to settle into life after marriage while still getting our house together.
Sounds pretty awesome, right? Or maybe these seem like trivial things? Because I stress out really easily, and need a game plan for most things in my life, these things are all really important to me. I didn’t want to be stressed leading up to my wedding! I didn’t want my future house to be stressful either! But then the feelings of me not contributing to our income and bills kept creeping in my head. Obviously Aaron puts me at ease, and tells me we are completely fine, and I don’t need a summer job, but it didn’t always help. I was feeling guilty that I wasn’t going to have a 40 hour a week job to bring in more money. It’d hard not having a job when you really want one! I want to help with the bills, but at this point, God must has other plans for me.
I started looking into nanny jobs to at least put my mind at ease that I was trying. (Side note: I know I could go back to a minimum wage job, but the hours are not ideal, and I just didn’t want that or feel it was the best.) I applied to many nanny jobs, of which I just found out I was hired for one for the summer. I will be working 3-4 days a week, for about 5 hours in the morning. After finding this out, I was happy, but still felt like it wasn’t enough and I should try for a job that had more hours. When I thought about it, though, (and had Aaron telling me to quit overthinking it) this is pretty much what I wanted. I would have my afternoons free to do things, I wouldn’t have to be at work at a super early time, I still had time to do things this summer and get my house ready, and on top of it all, she had no problem with the days that I needed off! I took this as a sign from God and accepted the job. I’m pretty happy about it, but the feeling of change and starting over somewhere new overwhelms me, also.
Basically everything in the next couple months is overwhelming. But, on the same note, it is all very fun things and I can’t wait for it all! I have a feeling my stress will go down substantially when we receive our closing date for our house. Right now things are a big “what if” and I don’t enjoy that.
I have found that during these overwhelming times, I crave “me time.” It’s easy to be pulled in so many directions, and have a million thoughts running through your head. You’d be lying if you said this has never happened to you. Or you could be telling the truth and I would be extremely jealous of you! I had a couple of these moments this past week. I felt like I needed to go see a friend, but what I really wanted was time for myself. I managed to make the best out of it and conquered both. I didn’t feel quite like myself until I spent time vegging out; I watched Safe Haven (totally recommend it!), and caught up on TV shows, all by myself. It wasn’t that I was mad at anyone, but I just needed time to think through things on my own and do what I wanted.
This feeling came back on Monday, though. I kept overthinking things and became easily annoyed by random things. Again, none of this was anyone’s problem, but mine. Aaron wanted to head to the boat, and it ended up just being us, out on the river, with hardly any boats around. We stopped for ice cream on the way, too, which was the best decision.
After some random dancing to old playlists, and just being out on the water in the warm weather, I felt as good as new. I just need to remind myself to spend time doing what I want while never forgetting others, too. It’s hard to say no to things, and turn down going out with others, but sometimes it’s the best thing we can do!
Relaxing on the boat in my favorite spot
Sights of the river
It’s important for us to remember ourselves in life, too. It’s easy to try to please everyone else, but harder to please ourselves, sometimes. I never knew I needed this “me time” until recently, but it really helps to re-think things and then return to my normal self!
Do you ever have moments where you find yourself getting overwhelmed by little things?
Can you say no to things easily, or do you usually agree to things?
Favorite ice cream flavor?