I feel like everywhere I look, people are writing about how hard it is to be a working mom and how hard that is. And I get it. I do. But, I also don’t think stay at home moms get enough credit. Yes, I do work two days a week, but not for very long each day, so I hardly can even count that.
But coming from the stay at home mom, there’s a few things I’m jealous of the working mom for. Like, they get a hot cup of coffee, time to talk with adults, a lunch that isn’t demanded from your kid, bathroom in peace (ha, but seriously), and more. Now I know there are many moms who would trade all that to be home with their kids all day, but it’s not possible, and I feel for you! I know I’m lucky Aaron’s job is enough for us. But, being home every day comes with challenges.
It’s trying to find ways to entertain my kids. It’s trying to find ways to make food without someone whining. It’s trying to find play dates and schedule things so they kids can socialize. It’s never having a break or an off switch. It’s feeling guilty having a babysitter for a few hours of freedom (uhm, for doctor’s appointments more often than not- not just out for a pedicure or to go shopping). It’s feeling exhausted because my brain is on on mode all the time and not really knowing how to express that to others. It’s trying to teach my children because they aren’t in daycare to learn from other teachers.
And that’s where I sometimes feel like I fail as a mom.
I don’t do Pinterest crafts every day. Frankly, I don’t do crafts everyday, ha. I don’t have structured activities all the time. Some times I just sit on the floor and let the kids crawl on me. Sometimes I 100% lose my patience with the kids. While yes I teach Annabelle different things, it’s not the same as preschool or daycare or what I think other kids know. Annabelle can sometimes count to 20, but not always. She knows her colors, but sometimes messes up green and yellow. She knows her alphabet, but can’t identify letters. She knows her name, but doesn’t know how to spell it.
So is she learning enough? Is she behind already? Am I failing because I don’t teach her daily and don’t do structured activities. While everyone has different thoughts, and even mine change daily, overall I hope I’m not. In the moments I feel like I’m failing, I think of the things Annabelle does do.
- She says “Bless you” when someone sneezes.
- She reminds us to hold hands and pray at every meal time.
- She runs to Nolan’s room when he wakes up and greets him with a smile.
- She gives the best hugs at the best times.
- She knows how to say excuse me.
- She says “Please” and “Thank You” all the time.
- She holds her brothers hand when he needs it
- She listens (most of the time).
- She is an okay sharer (unless it’s her toy and Nolan has it…)
- She knows how to calm down her brother
- She loves others.
- She is joy.
- She is happy.
- She colors and has an imagination
And then I think of all the things I do.. I
- Kiss her boo boos
- Teach her manners
- Teach her patience
- Show her how to act in public
- Snuggle with her
- Give her time when she needs it
- Teach her to work through emotions for tantrums
- I bake with her and we practice counting and fine motor skills
- Teach her about Jesus
- Read to her
And so when I think that maybe I should be working full time and she should be in daycare so she learns all those things I’m not exactly teaching her, I think of the above list and know she’s growing and thriving. She’s not failing, so neither am I. Some days aren’t perfect. Many days are far from it! But, I love being home with her and being able to teach her through our every day activities.
Moms, any thoughts?